• He has a scar.

  • He says he can talk to snakes.

  • He’s in love with his best friend’s sister.

  • He has long black hair and definitely needs glasses.

  • He plans on living in the woods for a year so that he can kill the man who murdered his parents.

  • He only delivers messages to people via bird.

  • He antagonizes a wealthy, blonde child on a regular basis.

  • A giant man took him away from his step-parents.

  • He says he’s fighting in a war that the government refuses to talk about.

  • He broke his dad’s best friend out of jail.

  • He has a broomstick, but he does not use it for its intended purpose.

  • Many Orthodox Christian organizations believe that he is secretly turning young kids into Satanists.

  • His only female friend has a name that no one can pronounce correctly.

  • His best friend was sleeping with a rat who turned out to be a human who turned out to be the man who betrayed his parents.
  • He’s British.

Dan Caprera